The Fallen Angel
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Dedicated to Ritika ma’am, my English teacher, who once asked me why don’t I ever write a story with Indian characters? Ma’am here’s an Indian story – just for you…
(Of course I did not write this dedication in my exam paper…Duh!!!)
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Shakespeare once said...
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“Men, this time there is no second chance. There is only one chance – and that cannot be lost. You know what to do. You have been informed. And I trust you all. I know you will be able to do it,” went on General Anand Rai Sharma, the Defence Secretary.
He went on with his “little encouraging speech” which had already extended for ten minutes…
“Men, I must warn you that you may come face to face with an enemy who is much more advanced than us – well trained and intellectual. I must ask you not to lose your courage. Don’t forget that you all commandos of MARCOS and the person you will be saving today is your Commander – in – chief, Her Excellency, the President of India. All the best everyone”
Finally the “little speech” came to an end and all the commandoes stood up like robots and saluted their General. They were one hundred of them, all dressed in black armed with some of the most advanced weapons ever manufactured in this planet – They were MARCOS - The Marine Commandos.
Although he had a very hectic schedule (like all other commandos in that mission) but he got some time to ponder upon the actions that had occurred that day…
Boy it was something of a day…
He remembered, how they were engaged in their regular exercise at the Special Forces Head Quarters in New Delhi, when suddenly all the senior officers started running around with most serious of all faces. Suddenly the defence minister’s motorcade wailed all the way in the campus along with the defence secretary’s convoy. More sirens were heard as vehicles of important people soared in. Within the next twenty minutes, all the commandos were summoned and were briefed by General Sharma. What they heard, took their breath away… There had been a attack at the Presidential Estate, better known as The Rashtrapati Bhavan. The terrorist, whose identities were still unknown had managed to parachute their way inside the estate boundaries. The biggest mystery was how were they able to evade the hi-tech air surveillance and enter into the restricted air space without being spotted. An inside help was suspected but the General did not go into much details of the siege. The most serious part of this attack was that they had managed to enter the building. The President, Dr. Amravati Shukla, it was informed, was still safe and was kept hidden somewhere in that three hundred and forty roomed palace. A final correspondence had been established between the Head Chamberlain of the palace which informed them about the state inside the palace. All the commandos were ordered to prepare themselves as they would be leaving for the palace in the next ten minutes. There mission was simple – half of them would establish a rendezvous with the chamberlain, who himself was hiding in a room whose location was known only to the team leader. The other half would take on the terrorists. The chamberlain would take them to the place where the president was kept hidden. After that briefing, all the commandos rushed to brace themselves…
Soon they were in the Chetak helicopters of the Indian Air Force…
The noise of the chopper made our captain wake up from his trance…
The aerial view of the palace was stunning… Captain Ravi was awe struck… yes…
that was his destination… his goal…
Today he would get the chance to repay all that his country had done him…
Yes… he would do it today…he would… He remembered everything… Before being in MARCOS, he was in the territorial army…that war…how he had his general from the line of fire during the war… he had himself sustained bullet injuries but he dragged the injured general to a safe spot and killed three enemies in this process…this act had made him a national hero… it got him the Param Veer Chakra, the highest award for courage…every newspaper had his picture… yes he was their hero... In the subsequent years he got three more bravery award… the last one from the current president…he remembered her words when she had given him the award… yes…she had said that he was the guardian angel of India…Today he would get his chance of repay all those awards… the years of service… he had made up his mind… he would sacrifice himself if needed but he will thank the President…
The troops roped their way down to the palace. Then they divided into two groups. Captain Ravi was in the group which was to rescue the President. They moved in – killing any hindrance in their way. Soon they met up with Chamberlain. He took them down a stairwell…then a door…then another… and plenty more doors…a secret passage … and then…
Their destination was in front of them… the door of the room in which the President was being kept safe …
Captain Ravi Kant Sharma looked at the door… his brain was recollecting again…
His father… he too was in the army – had died in a Government Hospital because the doctors were too busy treating a VIP and paid no attention to Captain Ravi’s father… they did not think about him… his son… his being a national hero made no difference to them… and… Captain Ravi’s brother… his brother too was in the army… he was killed in the war years back… the government had ordered compensation to his family – a compensation that they never got… His sister in law ran from one minister to the other… from one officer to the other… they all said they would “see”… but they never “saw”… He had seen his mother – a mother who had lost her younger son and her father… crying everyday… cursing her life… praying for Captain Ravi… her only support…
Now he could not take it any more… He had seen enough of his mother’s tears… ENOUGH… It had to end… The same government, to which he gave his everything could not even save his father… his brother… could not wipe his mother’s tears… he would thank this government for all this… indeed they deserved to be thanked…
And the President was the head of the Government…
The commando rushed into the room… the President was in there…
Adrenalin rushed into hi blood… Revenge… he wanted revenge… he jumped in front… pushing everyone aside, he aimed his gun at the President and pressed the trigger…
But her Bodyguards were too quick… one of them pushed the President aside and sacrificed himself…
“Fool,” blurted the captain and aimed at the President again… but it was too late… every gun in that room was pointed towards him and even before Captain Ravi could know, he was lying in a pool of his own blood – Dead
The palace was soon cleared of all the terrorists… the press were called… they all wanted to know what had happened… The President made an address to the nation… It started as…
“…Angels are bright still, though the brightest fell …”
Author speaks:
Here's some facts:
- Rashtrapati Bhavan is the biggest residence of any President in the world.
- No steel was used to construct Rashtrapati Bhavan
- It has 355 decorated rooms and a floor area of 200,000 square feet (19,000 m²).
- The structures includes 700 million bricks and 3.5 million cubic feet (85,000 m³) of stone
- The President's Bodyguard, as it is known today, was raised in 1773 at Benares, by the then Governor-General, Warren Hastings.
- Today it has 7 officers, 15 NCOs, and 140 enlisted men, for a total strength of 180 men. Throughout its history, the Bodyguard has varied in size from 50 men when first raised, to 1,929 men in 1845. However, it was usually around squadron size, or about 130 men
- They are quipped with armoured cars, its men are trained for operational duties, both as tankmen and airborne troops in addition to their ceremonial role.
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I am vey much grateful to the website of the President Of India, which acted as source for all the details and the pictures. And the story you read here is just exactly I wrote in the exam, except for the pictures amd the opening dedication.
Hope you will enjoy it.
If you liked my blog and if you too have got a blog then you can follow it. If you don't hav a blog then you can subscribe for it.
See you soon with another story... Bye for now!!!!
posted by Aersh @ 5:58 PM
9 Comments:
At January 22, 2009 7:42 PM ,
Prithwish said...
I can't mark you out of 30, that's what a teacher should do :P
But what I can say is, this was a good story. Throughout the story, it's never explicitly stated that he's a patriot, through and through, that would sacrifice his life to PROTECT that of the president. You chose your words well, and the final buildup to the end was well done.
But I have to say, the ending was a bit.....off. You must've been in a rush to finish it, OR, you must've realized it was exceeding the word limit. The ending wasn't properly done.
Overall, quite good! Keep writing!
P.S. I FREAKIN' HATE WORD LIMITS!!!!! :x :x ;x DAMN THOSE ENG-I EXAMS FOR DAT!!!
At January 22, 2009 8:35 PM ,
The Man With The Golden Gun said...
Awesome story.
Good construction.
Nice narration.
Ummmm, so u want a rating?
Well : 28 / 30
is what i think is the average value of this story. Probably more, but I have to say, the ending could have been something better...know something earth shattering. But then u were in a hurry i am sure...Anyways well done.
At January 22, 2009 9:52 PM ,
priya said...
25/30
y will a man who is so dedicated and everything become a traitor suddenly?if the feeling of being wronged and revenge was 2 arise in him it should have done from before.not all of a sudden.u should have mentioned about his inner conflict from the beginning.then at the end he could have come to the conclusion. neways for an exam it was obviously good.and you know what we dont have the right to mark you.we cant come up with such ideas even if we think for a year.
At January 23, 2009 4:57 PM ,
intoxicatingideas said...
well,even i think that you were pretty good in your selection of words and style ,but the plot of the story was not very convincing,probably because of the ending which i feel was a bit too abrupt,
but it deserves a huge creativity to do that in the examination hall
At January 23, 2009 11:20 PM ,
sucharita said...
the story was good.it was like a strong will that must cum true.but u know this kind of story is correct for exams only.the ending was not so well written.it should hav got sumthin else too(i feel personaly though it might not be).the brightest didnt fell actually it would have if he had at least shot 1 bullet at her.i dont think i can mark u as i am too bad in story writin offcourse u dat.pls dont mind if my comments hurt u .i liked ur vampire story mucch more though its imaginary.
At January 24, 2009 2:51 AM ,
Mohammed Musthafa said...
hmmm....well...the idea is gud...but the structuring is kinda weak i guess...the build up was okay..but the climax was really abrupt and rushed.
besides the style of writing...there's something weird...dont use ....between sentences....
overall....20 out of 30 i guess....
At January 24, 2009 4:38 PM ,
Mohammed Musthafa said...
btw....love the new look...really different and refreshing!
At January 24, 2009 7:13 PM ,
Aparna said...
good one!
22/30
fIRST of all -- a gREAt template! I love this one so much. makes me wanna stay on your page forever :)
I expected a different ending though. If you would have written he leaved no stones unturned in protecting the president then the ending would have been cliched.
But you gave a different ending.
It would have been better if you gave us some hints what he is really up to, than giving a punch-style ending altogether at the end.
But still I liked it for it surprised me :)
Don't use broken sentences. They don't lend continuity to your chain of thoughts.
cheers aersh ! And tell us how many marks ritika ma'm awarded you .
At February 5, 2009 5:45 PM ,
Aersh said...
@_Aparna - u won dear... i got 22/30. the highest in my class. thnx evryone
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